I’ve done wrong, I hurt, and I’ve hurt others. A life of rejection, judgment, and heartbreak was normal to me. In 1979, I dove into a world of self-destruction—prostitution, drugs, and abuse—it kept me breathing. But I was long gone, a walking dead soul who attracted abuse, fear, and death at every turn. Each unfavorable event left a scar on my onyx skin that I couldn’t escape. I tried seducing death, but it played with me instead. As I’ve said, “Death didn’t even want me.” I married for love and received abuse from a heroin addict.
Life offers no sweet rewards when you’ve been hurt, but it does force you to face yourself. In a mirror of lies you’ve been told and you’ve told yourself, somehow convincing no one but you of their truth, you learn to let go of the past. You let go when your hands can no longer carry its secrets, you let go when you have given your all, and most importantly, you let go to be reborn. Decades of heartbreak has made me see myself, not my hurt or pain, but the beauty in me that’s always existed.
Antoinette M. Watkins writes under the pen name Johanna Sparrow and has been writing for over 25 years. With over 100 books written and published under her belt. She has published a variety of articles and blogs on commitment phobias, marriage and divorce just to name a few. In her books as well as articles and blogs, she tackles personal growth, relationship issues, conflict issues, and much more.
She is an independent author by choice since it gives her full creative control over her literary works from start to finish.
Antoinette M. Watkins was born November 22, 1969, and was raised in New Orleans, Louisiana. She now resides in San Antonio, Texas with the love of her life, her husband of 31 years and their two adult children.